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Episode 170
Episode 170 'is an episode of the Drunken Peasants. Prev: Episode 169 Next: Episode 171 Highlights *Paul sings a song about Brett Keane called "''Domestic Violence Situation" - 0:11:30 *The Faded Holy Soldier talking about a German-Italian slut with a scat-fetish serving shit-flavored milkshake *Paul's Ego vs. Jim Ass *DP: The Wrestling League. Videos Played #Paul's Ego: Hard....Case #Feminist Rap #Troll or Not a Troll segment: Right Guard Sort review - FUNNY #Joshua Feuerstein: High School Coach Suspended after Praying at Game!!! #Vigilant Christian: Marilyn Manson BURNS A BIBLE! TVC Responds to this Satanist! #The Amazing Atheist Exposed!!! #Wild Bill: AMERICAN PRIDE 2016 #Faded Holy Soldier: Mr advice October 16 2015 #Alex Jones: Google Freaks Out After Alex Jones Storms Headquarters #Brony Rage (Reupload) #Dave Creator not Davecreator #PragerU: Who Killed the Liberal Arts? #Ernie Tertelgte: The Montana Living Natural Man, on Oaths and Bonds #Wrestling Video Game with the DP #Wrestling Video Game with Brett Keane, G Man vs Drunken Peasants Start Of The Show The episode began with Scotty being replaced by a Mysterious Question Mark Man. The Drunken Peasants did some shilling. TJ commented that he didn't like the the mystery guest's jib. Paul later criticized the mystery guest for being an abusive piece of shit. TJ explained how he had to use the word "scenario" to replace "situation" because Paul and Brett ruined the word for life. Paul sings Ashley a special birthday song about Brett Keane called "Domestic Violence Situation". It was so hilarious that TJ retired from DP. They watched an old video by Paul's Ego about his highly developed YouTube sensibilities. They talked about an old YouTuber who once did a dildo un-boxing. They listened to a cringe-worthy feminist "rap" sang by a group of insufferable little girls that was so dreadful, it almost brutally murdered the whole audience in cold blood. As if the girls' voices weren't already shrill and obnoxious enough, the subject matter made it even more intolerably agonizing. It was quite a wonder how people were able to actually sit in the audience to listen to this shit. Ben continued to play the "rap" because he hates his own audience. The peasants decided to save the livelihood of thousands by heading into the Troll or Not a Troll segment. In this segment, some guy started reviewing and comparing brands of deodorant, there was no twist worth mentioning. TJ determined that this guy was a horrible troll (no shit). Then, they moved into the Crazy People Segment. Next, Josh Moronstein complains about an issue regarding a high school football coach by the name of Coach Kennedy getting suspended for forcing his athletes to join a shitty Prayer. Scotty blamed the homosexual agenda. Paul pointed out how mandatory prayer is fucking bullshit in a secular country like America. Moronstein himself couldn't even articulate a fucking point. After that, The Vigilant Christian complained about Marilyn Manson because he was burning the Bible. Paul stated that setting the Bible aflame isn't a terrible thing, as many cultures think of fire as representing life, like how the Greek God, Prometheus gave fire to mankind. TJ tried to unmask the mystery guest, so Paul had to apologize on behalf of DP. Next, Some guy called Brother Wayne tried to succeed where all others have failed, expose TJ for good. He speculates that TJ is an atheist because every single church known to man rejected him. Then, Wayne offered to drill TJ's ass live on DP. Then, Wild Bill for America Mild Jill for Canadia talks about the decline of the US, supposedly caused by loss of faith in God. Wild Bill then shilled his "American Pride" calendar-book. Paul speculated whether if Bill's calendar featured a picture of Thomas Jefferson fucking his black slave bitch in the ass. Middle Of The Show Then, the Faded Holy Soldier had a Q&A where he answered some of his fans' crazy ass question. The peasants discussed how Brett tweeted at the FBI to get help to destroy the atheists who attacked his family. TJ entertains the idea of suing Brett Keane for slander. They brought Jim Ass onto the show and as soon as he came on the air, he engaged in a verbal combat with Paul. They took a break and showed off some pictures of titties. The Peasants returned from the break to more animosity between Paul and Jim. Paul called Jim a trust fund baby who used his money to get on DP, he later encourages Mr. Ass to die of alcohol poisoning. They then got a fat Patreon guest on the show. Then, Alex Jones exposed the evils of corporations like Google for being a tool of the Illuminati. Jim described a story in which he hit one of his cousins for being a pagan. End Of The Show Jim Ass, the fat Patreon guest, and the peasants couldn't take any more stupidity so they watched a video about a Brony who was upset by a MLP coloring book for failing to cater to the show's TRUE demographic. Paul exposed Jim as a brony. The Fat Patreon guest was also a Brony but no one cared. Then, they watched a video about a guy also named Dave Creator who was harassed by DP fans because they confused him with the DaveCreator that makes intros and remixes for DP. The DP fans were trying to target Dave because of the dispute between him and the peasants over intros. Next, they watched a video from PragerU about how it's a bad thing to allow people to take a diverse selection of studies to earn a college degree. PragerU basically shits on the current curriculum without providing alternatives. Jim Ass apparently still shits in a chamber pot. He also wants Paul's dick in his ass. Paul also wants to bust a nut in Jim's bellybutton. Afterwards, Ernie the Living Man continues his ongoing struggle with the court system. They moved on and watched a video of wrestling with the Drunken Peasants. Jim Ass showed a drawing of his of a Dinoaur Dinosaur. They then listened to some Storytime With Paul. He told a story appropriately enough about a friend of his getting drunk. He describes a young Paul being invited to drink with a friend, apparently one guy who had never gotten drunk ended up getting Jim Ass level drunk. After interrupting Paul, Jim got the boot. Paul told his friend to stop drinking and settle down but he kept drinking and the situation deteriorated. The "friend" eventually looked Paul right in the eye and said that he would fuck him right in the ass, causing Paul to flee and run. Paul ran down a hill for the sake of his anal virginity. Paul mentioned that since he was a fat guy in the 1980s, he was wearing baggy ass pants while trudging down a hill, but his pants began to fall down so he had to keep pulling them up. While desperately trying to escape his rapist friend, Paul's pants eventually fell to his ankles, causing him to fly his way down the hill. His rapist "friend" caught him and grabbed his ass and trusted his crotch onto it '''mid-air, dry humping him as if there was no tomorrow. The landing managed to take the wind out of Paul's lungs and he was unable to stop the doggy dry fucking. All Paul could manage was to scream out "Noooooooo!" Which caused the sense of humanity to return to his friend's mind, effectively halting the dry humping. The friend later claimed that he was "just kidding"! They watched a video of the DP taking on the Masters of Stupidity in a wrestling game. The peasants ended up getting rekt so hard, they brought the show to a close. Quotes *''"Hey Mystery Guest...... You're children are water-headed idiots" ''- Paul attacking Scotty's the Mystery Guest's family *''Hey Mystery Guest, Can you take a pair of TJ's dirty underwear covered in Mystery Stains and shove them in your fucking mouth for about 10 minutes?" -'' Paul talking to Scotty the Mystery Guest *"Why do Paul and Jim Ass hate each other, I'm lost here?" - TJ **"I just hate this loud-mouth piece of fucking garbage!" - Paul answering TJ and talking about Jim Ass *''"Mr. Paul's Zeego, you know, go suck on a mean dick motherfucker!" - Jim Ass talking to Paul *"''In fact, I'm gonna find out what that ass is all about, Jim! I'm gonna get up in that ass, I'm gonna stretch that fucking ass!" - Paul *"I'm not a catcher, I'm a pitcher, Mr. Zeego" ''- Jim talking to Paul **"''Oh You're gonna catch! You're gonna catch my 6 inches of throbbing man-meat right up the fucking asshole, you blithe piece of shit" - ''Paul responding to Jim Ass *"I like the fact that even if I'm fucking your mouth, I'm fucking your ass."'' - TJ Kirk to Jim Ass. *''"Shut up, Jim. You cunt."'' - Paul to Jim after interrupting his story. *''"What happened to the RV Trip around America? You piece of shit?!"'' - Paul's impression of Keane. Trivia *Cultural appropriation is okay if feminists do it. *Paul's friend Jason will be visiting him for three weeks around the holiday season, he plans to have him make a cameo on DP. *TJ hated the mystery guest. *Paul acknowledges Scotty as the true Kaiser of DP. *Eating shit can give you Ebola, According to Faded Holy Soldier *Paul was triggered because a rogue pendulum raped him in his youth. *Scotty loves cargo shorts. *Brett Keane wrestles in tightly-whities. Disclaimer Offended? -> Disclaimer Page Category:Drunken Peasants Episodes Category:Episodes featuring Patreon Guests Category:Episodes featuring Jim Ass Category:Episodes featuring Paul's Ego Category:Episodes featuring Guests